Bowling is serious business, like the internet. It's so serious, it's worth practicing before a big tournament. That's what I did! This tournament was huge in the scheme of things, and a loss for the Religion department would surely be its end.

So I went a few hours early and bowled 3 practice games. I mean, everyone's life was depending on it, right?

At 6 pm, everyone eventually drifted in, and it turned out that there were about 7 bowlers for Religion and 16 for Philosophy. Yikes. My friend Rob and his mom (the secretary for Philosophy and Religion) did bowl on the Religion side.

The rules of the tourney:

Everyone bowls 2 Games.

Rob or his dad have to take all the pictures.

The top 5 game scores are totaled on each side, highest score wins.

We were in trouble until...

IT'S SCHMIDDY, LOL! Dr. Schmid came and bowled on our side.

He bowled like a 72 and 85 or something like that. It was insane!

SCHMIDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Ok, so his scores weren't in the top 5, but anyway, he's the Japanese Religions and East Asian studies teacher, and it was fun calling out SCHMIDDY throughout the tournament.

The winning side got a golden bowling trophy.

In October, the dude in charge of the Academic Study of Religion Club (Doc) had a get-together in which he picked a few ringers for this tournament. Steven and I bowled high games (he bowled a 206, I bowled a 189), so we came in expected to carry our team.

The problem was, though, my scores were consistently around 150 in practice.

I also had retired about 3 years back after winning a bowling league with my friends Steven, Jason, and Reynolds. We were called "From da Gutta," and I have a cheap plastic trophy to show for it!

Maybe I should have stayed retired.

This place was so technologically impaired. We used a PENCIL to write on a transparency, and it sort of showed up via an overhead projection system.

Sort of.... We had to push like an angry pregnant lady giving birth to quadruplets ten times per minute!

I came up with a basic strategy on our side -- if Steven and I bowled on the same lane, we'd probably push each other to better scores. This happened, but our scores were not untouchable.

First game: One bowler, I believe an administrator, on the Philosophy side bowled a 150. Another student bowled about a 130 or so. I was watching their scores the whole time, so I believe they actually AAAed the lane...oh wait. Wrong game!

I bowled a 169 the first game with an OPEN FINAL FRAME (ouch), Steven bowled a 135, Samantha bowled a 120. Those were our top 3 scores for the game. Remember, top 5 scores count.

Rob also bowled a few good games, but the lanes were unfriendly that night.

Second game: I kept telling everyone that this was life or death. Samantha believed me. She scored a 157. Steven and I both bowled 146. It wasn't the prettiest, but it sure beat the Philosophy side on game 2. GIRL POWER!

Actually I play bowling like 30 hours a day and I paint my eyelids with bowling balls.

So did Philosophy win? NO! WE WON! Religion WINS!

Sartre, Hume, and Spinoza LOSE!

Final scores:

Philosophy: Admin dude: 150
Student thing: 135 or so
Person: Like negative 20
Winnar: 3 Greats and a Boo
SmithJonesSmithSmith: 0 points, 1 assist, 6 fouls

Our side: Me: 169
Samantha: 157
[Steven: 146
Me: 146]
Steven: 135

Our average was 150.6, and their highest bowler was 150. They still demanded to have it all totaled. They weren't math majors, apparently, so we double owned them.

So Doc tried to run off with the trophy. I had a little surprise! I love big bookbags!

haha the pin is in the Philosophy & Religion Department's main office, and it doesn't say PHILOSOPHY on it for this year!